All Too Human
by snowy scarf
Summary: A sudden tragedy cripples the Tylers, and leaves the Doctor broken and alone. Fearing human pain, he isolates himself from those who want to help. But can his young daughter get him to open up and care again? Plot inspired by the beautiful anime Clannad After Story. Set in Pete's World. TentooxRose. Rated T because of major character death.
1. Beginning and End

**A/N: So yeah, I was listening to the Clannad soundtrack and couldn't keep the plot bunnies away. Sorry if this is too sad or anything, but I want to write it. It probably sucks but here ya go :) ((Hey so I just now fixed this chapter, there was an edit I made when I posted this on Ao3 that I didn't add on here,k but its better now! Should hopefully be uh, writing the new chapter soon... Happy Holidays~!))**

The flat was quiet, apart from the piercing wails of a newborn human. A human born on a night of a blizzard, one of the worst that this London had ever seen. A blizzard that shut down shops and restaurants and most importantly, roads. With roads blocked and the birth happening all too fast, this child had to be born at home, with no one to help her mother but her father.

Rose Tyler laid still on the double bed, her face flushed red as her namesake. Sweat glistened on her forehead. Her chest rose and fell slowly, her breaths laboured and her eyelids drooped as if they were being weighed down by something of great mass. Along with every leaden breath, her heart beat at a dangerously slow pace.

On the other side of the room, her half-timelord husband wrapped their newborn daughter in a light pink blanket, one knit by her grandmother. He held the baby in the crook of his arm and stared down at her with tears twinkling in his eyes.

"Hello" he murmured, smiling at his child. The baby squirmed and lifted her arms. Soon, her cries died down and she calmed in her daddy's arms.

It'd been horrible for him to watch Rose in so much pain, with no means to help her, other than holding her hand and telling her he loved her. But she'd been so brave, so strong. Even in the moments when she slipped out of consciousness, she never gave up. Now, holding their daughter in his arms, the Doctor felt relieved. It'd been rough but Rose and the baby were going to be okay. They were together and that was all that mattered.

He turned to his wife, oblivious of the danger of her condition, and sat on the edge of the bed. He showed her the newborn in his arms, skin pink and wrinkled and adjusting to the world outside her mother.

"Rose, look" he said gently, and her eyelids lifted "It's our baby, our daughter. D'ya want to hold her?"

"Uh-huh" she managed to mumble. It took her a moment to lift her arms above the covers and she shivered at the cold.

He placed the baby in her waiting arms and smiled tearily at the sight.

"I knew you could do it, Rose" he said, grinning at her.

Rose's mouth lifted into a weak smile.

"She's cute"

"Isn't she?" he agreed, staring in awe at the baby.

"She-" Rose's hoarse whisper was suddenly interrupted by a bout of throaty coughs that she caught with her palm "-looks like you"

Crimson droplets stained her palm and the Doctor noticed immediately. Swiftly, he took the baby from her and laid the child in a cot they'd set up earlier.

Rose coughed again, an awful, deep hacking noise that sounded like death. The Doctor was by her side in an instant. He helped her sit up and rubbed a soothing hand over her back.

"It's going to be okay, Rose, I promise" he told her, but as he spoke, his guts churned at the obvious uncertainty in his tone and the true terror he felt "I called Pete not too long ago, he should be sending a helicopter over soon"

"He doesn't haveta do that" she choked out between coughs "I'm okay"

She wiped the blood from her lips with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry" she whimpered "I'm really tired, can I sleep now?"

"No, just stay awake a little longer, okay?" he urged "Talk to me"

Her weight pushed against his hand and he had no choice but to lay her back down again.

"How 'bout you just listen then?" he said, beginning to ramble "Hey, look at me love, stay awake, okay? Soon the roads will get cleared and we can see your mum, does that sound good? Then we can get the baby settled into the nursery. Oh she's gonna grow up so fast. Before we know it, she'll be in school. I bet she'll be just as clever as her mum"

"Uh-huh" Rose lifted her weary eyes and smiled drowsily at him.

Another cough shook her fragile form, making her gasp for breath and quiver. The Doctor pulled her into his arms and placed a hand on her sweaty forehead.

"You're burning up, Rose!" he gasped.

"It's cold" she whispered pitifully.

He stood up abruptly.

"Be back in just a moment, Rose" he promised before dashing to the kitchen.

He returned moments later, a bowl of lukewarm water and a cloth in his hand. He pulled up a chair beside the bed and began gently dabbing at Rose's forehead and face, internally cursing himself for letting this happen to his Rose.

"Doctor" she said, her weak, scratchy voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes?"

She stared at him vacantly.

"Why's it so dark all 'o the sudden?"

The plastic bowl slipped from his hands and hit the floor with a splash. He knelt beside her and gripped her hand in two of his.

"Are we on the TARDIS?" she asked deliriously. Her eyelids fluttered shut.

"Yeah" he replied as calmly as he could, though his voice cracked and throat clenched "We just got back from, from an adventure. It was fantastic. We, uh, we saved a whole planet. It was mostly you though, you were brilliant"

Rose's pink lips formed a tiny smile. It wasn't like her normal smile, the one that consumed her, the one where you could see the tip of her tongue between her teeth and her beautiful brown eyes squinted from the pressure in her cheeks. No, this smile was minute, barely there, yet impossible to miss. It was the small upward curl of the corners of her mouth in a gesture that said 'I love you'.

"I'm glad" she whispered breathlessly.

She coughed again, quieter this time. A little splutter of desperation before her grip on his hand loosened.

His human heart nearly stopped beating.

"Rose?"

He shook her slightly and took her wrist between his forefinger and his thumb. He waited and waited for a pulse, even just a little one. Any sign of life from his pink and yellow human, but there was none.

"Rose!" he shouted, loud enough to make the baby start to cry again.

He ignored his daughter and climbed on the bed next to Rose. He scooped her limp body into his arms as hot, wet tears streamed down his cheeks. Her silky blonde hair splayed over his arm and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. His arms held her so tightly yet so gently, a firm featherlight touch. He rocked back and forth slightly and combed his long fingers through her hair.

"Rose" he pleaded "Rose please wake up"

Her lack of response made him sob harder, uncontrollably until he was gasping for breath.

"Rose!" he howled like an injured dog.

His world, his fragile human life was crashing down around him and leaving him trapped in a prison of grief. Rose was gone. She'd survived dalek attacks, the end of the world, yet the Bad Wolf had been defeated by the birth of their daughter, and it was his fault. He clutched her lifeless body to his chest and kissed her still-warm forehead.

He was alone apart from the piercing wails of his newborn daughter.

**A/N: Hey you brave soul, you made it this far! Bless. Reviews make my day**


	2. Snow

**A/N: I got 3 reviews within 24 hours of posting! 0u0 omg ily you all, heres more, enjoy**

Rose's funeral was an out of body experience for the Doctor. He hadn't at all wanted to go, but then again who really wants to attend their wife's funeral? What he was afraid of was having to face all those people, Rose's friends and family, the people she loved and who loved her too. He couldn't face them knowing that he hadn't been able to save Rose. However, he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. So he donned his black suit and necktie and joined his in-laws for the car ride.

The weather that day was beautiful, not at all how it seemed the day of Rose's funeral should be. No ominous grey clouds hanging in despair, no dark, bleak skies. The sun shone with a cheery brightness, although there was still snow on the ground and the air bit at their noses. How dare the sun shine, the Doctor thought ruefully, how can anything look lovely and jovial when Rose no longer exists?

They pulled up at the church, a gorgeous building, similar to the thousands of other Christian churches like it. The last time he'd been here, Rose was wearing white. Now that felt like a lifetime ago. The mourners moved into the church and settled into the pews as a speech was given about Rose, and one by one friends and family stood and said a few words. Even though the Doctor tuned most of it out, there were still silent tears trickling down his cheeks. When he was called up to speak, he just pieced together a few words about how much he loved her and thanked everyone who cared about her.

The service was closed-casket upon the Doctor's request. He wasn't keen on the idea of people gawking at his Rose, it made him uncomfortable to have them look at her unmoving form. After her coffin was six feet under, people gave their condolences and left. It was then when little Tony Tyler spoke.

"When is Rosey coming home?" the four year old asked with innocent curiosity. He hadn't quite grasped the concept of death yet.

Jackie Tyler sniffled and took a deep breath before answering him.

"She's not coming home, sweetheart, she's in a better place now" she said. Her voice shook as she spoke.

At this, Tony's eyes filled with tears.

"But home is the best place there is" he said perplexedly, his bottom lip quivering.

Pete Tyler picked up his son and held him on his hip.

"You'll understand soon enough, Tony" he said as he pressed a kiss to the boy's temple.

Pete looked to the Doctor.

"Are you coming back to the mansion with us?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

The Doctor shook his head.

"No, no I think I'll just head back to the flat actually" he mumbled, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"But what about the baby?" Jackie interjected "She's at the mansion with a nanny now, don't you want to see her?"

A lump formed in the Doctor's throat, causing his voice to waver when he answered her.

"I-" he stopped for a moment and dared to meet the worry filled eyes of Rose's family "No"

"No?" Jackie repeated incredulously, taking a step toward him "She's your daughter, Doctor. She needs you"

She reached for his hand but he pulled away and turned his back on her, on them.

"I'm going to walk home" he decided, ignoring the fact that walking home would take ages "I'll see you round I suppose"

He began walking at a brisk pace, but not fast enough that his efforts to avoid them would be more obvious than they were already.

"Oi, I'm talkin' to ya-!"

Jackie started to yell at him, but Pete shook his head at her.

"Best to leave him be" said Pete solemnly.

The Doctor walked for hours. It was dark by the time he reached his street, and fresh snowflakes were swirling through the chill night air around his head. He hated the snow. He hated winter. He hated this city. He hated this world. He hated his counterpart for leaving him here. But most of all he hated himself.

But he didn't used to hate the snow.

_"This is beautiful!" Rose cheered._

_She stood ankle-deep in shimmering white powder, her arms out at her side as she caught snowflakes in her gloved palm and on her tongue. Her cheeks were rosy and her warm brown eyes watered slightly at the cold. A messy blonde braid was tossed over her shoulder, and it sparkled with bits of ice and snow. She knelt down and scooped up a glove full of snow. After quickly shaping it into a mound, she chucked it at him, and laughed gleefully as it collided with his shoulder._

_"Come on Rose, you're a better shot than that" he teased, brushing the snow from his coat._

_But of course she'd missed on purpose. She'd never want to hit his face._

_"Oh?" she replied, grinning cheekily._

_She hurled another snowball in his direction, but this time the Doctor ducked. He bent down to grab a snowball for himself. It was then that one collided with his back._

_"Oh, now it's on!" he laughed._

_Snowballs flew in both directions, some hitting Rose and some hitting the Doctor._

_"Alright! Rose, I surrender!" he cried as yet another one of her throws collided with his chest._

_Rose beamed at him. He'd always want to remember that smile. So happy, so full of life. His Rose blossoming at her finest._

_"Since, I won…" she said, taking a few steps toward him as she spoke "Do I get a kiss?"_

_The Doctor wiggled his eyebrows playfully and snaked a hand around her waist._

_"To the victor go the spoils" he murmured before kissing her deeply._

**A/N: Everything hurts and I'm dying why did I write this why am I doing this to my babies why no oh gawd and it's only going to get worse from here... but I hope you enjoyed this rather feels-y chapter my lovelies~! (psst... reviews make me write hella faster) ((psst psst... follow me on tumblr: lostinlovelyfantasy)) OKAY, I'm out uwu**


	3. Blocks

**A/N: Hey guise! So far this is my most popular story (not /that/ popular tho) and I plan to continue it~!**

Isn't it strange how years can pass without so much as the slightest change, and yet your entire existence can be altered in the blink of an eye? They say life is beautiful, and should be lived to the fullest, but how can you believe that when life has been nothing but cruel to you?

For the metacrisis Doctor, life after Rose was one big blur of work, drink, and endless solitude. The solitude was self inflicted and became his hiding place. If no one talked to him it was easier to not acknowledge the pain. If he befogged his mind with drink, the pain was almost non-existent. And when he slept, he could envelop himself in happier times.

But not all dreams were sweet. Sometimes in the dark of night, he'd see Rose, hunched over and coughing, or lying still in his arms. He'd watch her as her beautiful face contorted in agony, or he'd see tears roll down her cheeks. And some nights, he could swear that he heard the sharp, unending cries of their child.

He tried not to think about their child, but she was always in the back of his mind. It wasn't that he resented the child,or that he blamed her for the loss of his wife, for that, he blamed himself. He knew that if Rose was alive, she'd be so disappointed in him because of what a pathetic excuse for a father he was. Their daughter spent just one week of her life with her father before going away to the Tyler Estate, and living there with her grandparents and young uncle. He caught glimpses of her now and then. Sometimes Jackie would email him photos of the little girl, in hopes that maybe he'd drop by for a visit.

He did drop by for a visit, every month or so, but not to visit his daughter. In fact, he'd usually come at night so as to avoid her completely. He came by because his drinking problem would empty his wallet until he couldn't afford food. Pete always gave him £245 and told him that he was always welcome in their home and that if he ever needed anything all he had to do was ask.

However, one day he dropped by early in the morning. When he stepped into the mansion, he was greeted with silence. At this time of day, Tony was at school, Jackie was out shopping, and after asking the housekeeper, the Doctor was informed that Pete was taking an important call in his study and that it was best not to disturb him.

So he sat down quietly in the sitting room. He felt uncomfortable in this room, the room where he and Rose had spent their first Christmas in this world, this house, where he'd proposed to her, and where their wedding reception had been held. After ten minutes of sitting alone with a pounding headache, he slipped into the kitchen to get a drink. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer without a second thought. It wasn't until he'd taken a gulp that he heard soft footsteps on the hardwood floors.

A small girl, about four years old, was staring wide-eyed at him. She stood halfway in the doorway as if she was too frightened to enter her own kitchen. The first thing that struck the Doctor about her was her resemblance to Rose. From her short blonde hair to those large brown eyes that watched him warily. Even her cheeks had a light pink blush to them that was distinctly her mother's.

'She's cute'

"Susan" he said, his voice gruffer than he intended. The name was one that Rose had picked, a name that suited the curious child well.

"Are you Daddy?" asked Susan.

It took the Doctor a moment to answer. He rubbed at the back of his neck and swallowed to assuage his suddenly dry throat.

"Yeah" he replied "I'm Daddy"

The two silently stared at each other for a rather prolonged minute before the Doctor spoke.

"Are you hiding?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer and leaning against the counter "Why don't you come all the way into the room?"

Susan nodded and stepped into the room. She was dressed in a pink jumper with a yellow star knit onto it, shorts, and white socks that were too long and bunched up around her ankles.

"That's a nice jumper" he commented awkwardly "Who got it for you?"

"Nana Jackie" she told him, playing with the edges of the knit sweater.

"Oh" he said, surprised that Jackie had let someone refer to her as 'Nana' "She's gone out, hasn't she, Tony too?"

"Uh-huh" she nodded "Where's Papa?"

"Pete? He's busy right now"

Susan's bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

"I want Papa" she mumbled, staring down at her socks.

"Well sorry, it's just me for now"

Susan looked up at him, blinked, then dashed out of the room.

"Hey!" the Doctor said in surprise. He set down his beer and followed after her.  
He found her in the playroom, building a tower of blocks. Cautiously, he sat down on the rug next to her.

"Is it okay if Daddy plays too?"

Susan nodded but didn't take her eyes off her tower. Her brow furrowed in concentration, she placed another wooden cube on the tall spire. Knowing basic physics, the Doctor knew that if she kept stacking like that it would eventually topple, but he let her build her tower and began constructing his own castle. Sure enough, a few blocks later Susan's castle came crashing down.

"Oh no" she said dejectedly. She hung her head in failure and stared down at the scattered blocks. "My tower broke" Her bottom lip quivered.

"Don't cry" he told her, frowning slightly "Here, let's build a new one"

Susan shook her head.

"S'not the same" she mumbled, sniffling.

"Why not?" the Doctor asked with a confused tilt of his head.

"It was special"

"How come?"

Susan looked up at him, eyes glistening.

"I was making it for you, Daddy"

The Doctor gazed at his daughter, and all he saw was Rose. Her face gazing back at him, the tears sparkling in her brown eyes. He knocked down his own blocks and pushed all the blocks into a pile on the floor.

"That's okay" he told her "It wasn't your fault. D'you wanna make a new one together?"

"Okay" she agreed, wiping her eyes.

Pete Tyler left his study and was told by the housekeeper that his son-in- law was here. When he arrived in the sitting room however, the Doctor was no where to be found. He checked the kitchen and found a half empty beer on the counter, but still no Doctor. He wandered down the corridor, and was rather shocked to hear his son-in-law speaking softly to Susan. He stopped in the doorway of the playroom and watched them for a moment before he was noticed.

"Papa!" Susan cried happily. She ran to her grandfather and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hello, love" he replied, lifting her onto his hip "Is your daddy playing with you?" he asked. The question was not so much directed at Susan as it was towards the Doctor.

"Uh-huh!" she said, beaming "We're building a castle"

Pete smiled warmly at them.

"That's nice, sweetheart"

The Doctor stood up and looked at Pete guiltily. He hated asking for money, but he really needed it. He'd gotten himself in a financial hole, even with his job at Torchwood. He knew Pete would help him out, but he still felt like he owed the Tylers more than he had to give.

"I need to go talk to your daddy now, Susan" Pete told her, setting her back down on her feet.

Susan's smile fell slightly but she simply nodded and went back to building her castle.

"Okay. Bye-bye Daddy. Bye-bye Papa"

**A/N: Oh my goodness I spent a while on this one :) Leave a review and maybe the story fairy will write faster~ my apologies for your feels, dear readers**


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